Written by Have you clearly defined your expectations when registering to find a sibling match? Let me share my own story and the insights I’ve gained along the way.
Back in 2012, I came across a post in the Facebook group “Donorbørn uden nummer,” which is a sister group to my own group “Donorbarn-sædddonor-ægdonor.” One day, I noticed that a member had shared childhood photos in an album and mentioned that she was conceived at the same hospital as I was, just a year after I was born. The photos looked incredibly similar to mine.
I decided to reach out to her and convinced her to take a DNA test to find out if we could be half-siblings. We sent our DNA samples to a private lab in Sweden, and after a few weeks, we received the results: There was a 99.92% chance that we shared a parent. We were indeed half-siblings.
Later that year, I paid for a test through FamilyTreeDNA.com. I then uploaded our DNA profiles to MyHeritage.com and GEDmatch.com. In the following years, I also took tests with Ancestry.com and 23andMe.com, as these platforms do not allow the upload of DNA profiles. I also made sure to upload my DNA profile to LivingDNA and Geni.com, so no matter where a potential half-sibling took a test, they could match with me.
For years, I received weekly emails from MyHeritage about new matches, which were often distant relatives in the 3rd, 4th, or 5th degrees. I began to doubt whether we would ever find other half-siblings. But in 2018, a half-brother appeared, followed by another in 2019. In 2020, we found yet another half-brother, and the week after, we discovered a half-nephew. This led us to contact his parents and ask them to take a test. The result showed that the father was also our half-brother.
In the years that followed, I worked with the various DNA matches we had to build a family tree and try to figure out who our biological father was. Through a lucky connection with a “2nd cousin” who had an extensive family tree, I managed to trace us back to a common ancestor. Even though I made significant progress, I still lacked the necessary knowledge of combining genealogy with DNA testing to solve the complex puzzle of finding one’s unknown origins.
One evening, I signed up for an online webinar from the USA on how to use the available tools on GEDmatch. After the webinar, at 2 AM, I was ready to apply my newfound knowledge, but first, I needed some sleep. The next morning, I started entering information into the WATO tool and quickly eliminated 13 out of 16 branches of descendants from the common ancestor. I then reached out to some of these descendants on Facebook. Within hours, I connected with a woman who immediately asked if I was adopted or donor-conceived, as she knew both were possibilities in her family. Her brother had been a sperm donor while attending university.
This happened on December 7, 2020, and within an hour, I was also in contact with my biological father.
In the following years, our family grew even more. In 2021, we found another brother, in 2022 a sister, in 2023 four new brothers, and this year, 2024, another brother and a sister. We are now up to 14 half-siblings, one of whom is the donor’s own daughter from his marriage.
Of the 11 donor-conceived half-siblings, most have taken a test via MyHeritage, which is the most commonly used database in Denmark, where I live. However, the last sister we found just three weeks ago had tested with 23andMe. If I hadn’t had my DNA in that database, it’s uncertain whether we would have ever found her.
Patience is a virtue, and it’s crucial to be represented in all registers. Whether you have a donor number or are searching via DNA, it’s essential to ensure that you’re listed in as many databases as possible to increase your chances of finding a match.
The registry here on MyDCfamily is new, and the database of users searching for matches is still being built. Building a large database takes time. Sometimes, you may be the first in the database and have to wait for a match. But if you’re not in it, you’ll never find a match.
So, what are you waiting for? Create a profile today.